December 2009
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CORRECTION: one (1) renaissance melody, repeated at least 23 times
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when on hold with my allergist I am treated to lovely MIDI renaissance melodies.
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A chimpanzee in overalls fondles a statue’s penis, then goes to the bakery to pick up a cake, but the pack of bulldogs he’s walking turn on him and chase him down the road before a bird of prey steals the chimpanzee’s cake. Or, as it’s called in Japan, “Tuesday.”
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I AM READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL
How much you wanna make a bet Cutler can throw a football over them mountains?…
…
Cutler has been intercepted.
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Frederick Plane Thief Identified as Homeless Man →
“Pennington said Cox is familiar with airplanes but is not proficient in their operation.”
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I have given two cousins to war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife’s...
– Artemus Ward (1834 - 1867)
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Small dog braves snow
My dachshund takes the more difficult route back to the house.
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grilled salmon for dinner? yes, yes I would.
A best man's prank on a newly married couple:... →
maura:
It’s all anonymous, so “no one is hurt,” at least until someone traces back the e-mail address associated with the account. But I have to wonder — aside from the usual work-or-shoot suspicions — what kind of honeymoon locale has such lax security that a room’s non-resident can smuggle in “a pressure-sensitive pad that tweets out when sexual activity starts, when it ends, the force of the...
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7 to 14”+ AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! WE MIGHT NEVER SEE GRASS AGAIN
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HEY GUYS!
aimee-b-loved:
I KNOW THAT I SHOULD RESPECT MY ELDERS BUT IT’S HARD WHEN BRUCE LISTENS TO MORE BOSTON THAN ANY LIVING PERSON. WELL, ANY LIVING PERSON AFTER 1980. I’M JUST THANKFUL THAT HE DOESN’T REQUEST IT AT THE ROLLER RINK. INSTEAD, HE ASKS FOR TIFFANY. BECAUSE “I THINK WE’RE ALONE NOW” IS HIS JAM. YES, IT’S MORE THAN 2 DECADES OLD. BUT EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS.
It’s more than a...
Making my decade-end lists. Worst American Tragedy should go to 9/11, right?
– Scott Aukerman (via Twitter)
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the worst part of having a mustache is the explosive sneezes that follow accidentally inhaling hairs into your nostrils.
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Jacksonville losing to Miami dropped their odds of making the playoffs ~35% or so (now at about 30%). In comparison, Pittsburgh losing to Cleveland dropped their odds about 25% (odds now at about 5%). Denver, Baltimore, and Jacksonville are the primary teams in it for the AFC wild card with Baltimore benefiting most from Jacksonville and Pittsburgh losing.
Meanwhile, my team, the Washington...